It’s been a challenging 12 months and losing my beloved cat Henry on January 2nd was definitely the lowest point. He’d been with me for over 17 and a half years. I chose him as a tiny kitten from a litter born to a rescue cat. He’d been with me through so much – divorce, having Isobel, marriage, house moves and job changes, as well as awful bouts of depression. I’d been dreading that day for a long time, but it was still a terrible shock when it happened.
I couldn’t face social media or blogging for a while, certainly not taking outfit photos. I’ve been thinking about the past, and the future, a lot over the last few days. Looking back at the last 12 months, I realised that it’s been a period of big change. I actually started writing this post over a week ago, but I was emotionally exhausted so I just had to park it.
When I think back to this time last year, a lot has happened. My mum moved in with us while we continued with the monumental endeavour of trying to sell her old rundown cottage. After an extended period of ill health, during which my mum had been in and out of hospital for almost a year, her mobility had declined significantly. On top of that, the condition of the house had deteriorated dramatically; rats getting into the thatched roof and chewing though the electrical wires was quite literally the final straw. No central heating and old wooden window frames (no double glazing) meant the house was always cold in winter and the heating bills were eye-watering.
We decided the best thing would be for mum to move in with us while we continued to try selling the house. Her dialysis care was transferred and she moved in early January. It was a big change for all of us, especially for me, as I became her carer. I’d had some experience of caring as my mum’s mum lived with us until her death from Alzheimer’s disease when I was 16.
When mum moved in with us, we’d already had two auction sales fall through, and consequently our purchase of the bungalow around the corner from me also fell through twice. After a woeful experience with that estate agent and auction house, plus developers trying to buy it for a knockdown price, I decided to put it on the open market with a different agent. They really threw everything at it, and in the Spring, a young couple who lived just up the road decided to buy it.
It was still a nervous wait, having had the rug pulled from under us before. But we finally completed in June. The few weeks prior to completing was a flurry of activity; after 50 years my mum had accumulated a lot of stuff, as had I. But it went much further back than that; the house had been in the family for several generations. My great grandparents lived there and had 15 children (13 surviving into adulthood). So many members of my family had been born, lived and died in that house. At one point, the thought of it leaving the family horrified me; I’d wanted to take it on and renovate it, but over the years I realised that I didn’t want to move back to the area.
Gradually, with good nutrition and better medical care, mum’s health improved and we finally got the keys to the bungalow in September. She moved in just before Christmas and my bother, sister-in-law and niece came to stay. It was the first time in years that we’d spent Christmas together. The bungalow is perfect for mum; it’s warm, accessible and has all mod cons (she has a dishwasher for the first time!).
The summer was eventful, mostly for good reasons. We had a lovely holiday in Madeira and took my mother-in-law. Unfortunately, she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer just before and was facing the prospect of surgery upon our return. Thankfully, it was a success and she is now making a full recovery.
I had my bunion surgery in late August, followed by six weeks in a post-op sandal. I’m really pleased with the outcome and am back to high impact workouts. (I’m giving the heels a miss though.) Not being able to exercise or drive were the things I was most dreading. Being freelance, not being able to drive means I can’t earn. However, scheduling surgery for the summer – which is always a relatively quiet period – minimised the loss of earnings. It also meant that Isobel was off school for some of the time and was around to help. I’m planning to have the same operation on my left foot this summer.
The highlight of the year was seeing AC/DC live at Wembley stadium. After the previous tour was curtailed due to singer Brian Johnson’s hearing problems I didn’t think I’d get another chance. It was an incredible gig and I had a good seat. I spent the following day in London on my own, browsing the shops and stopping for coffee along the way. I topped the year off by seeing another Aussie band – Amyl and the Sniffers – who were also brilliant. We got right at the front and it reminded me of footage of the early AC/DC gigs that sadly I was too young to witness.
All in all, looking back at the last 12 months, I can say it was a challenging year, often exhausting. I also think that it forced me to face some of my biggest fears. What does 2025 hold? Well, who knows! Isobel has GCSEs this year, which I’m sure will be stressful. We’ve booked an all-inclusive holiday to Cape Verde for when the exams are over. All being well, my second foot surgery will be scheduled for soon after we return. My TV freelance work has been gradually decreasing over the last few years so I will be looking to diversify. I don’t have any firm plans yet but I would like to do something creative.
I’m still missing Henry terribly and keep thinking I can hear him at the door. He was my right-hand man, always on his cushion next to me on the sofa. The house feels less of a home without him. At the moment, I’m undecided about having another cat. I probably will at some point, but the time has to be right. One thing’s for sure, he can never be replaced.
Henry
April 2007-January 2nd 2025
Oh, Emma, I didn’t realize how long your mum’s house had been in your family. That had to add so much to the stress of selling it. I’m glad all has worked out, and your mom is better and situated in a good spot. I can commiserate with you on the bunion surgery. It’s not for the faint of heart. And, of course, losing Henry at the start of this year has been heartbreaking. Most of us have been through that pain.
I do hope 2025 is better for most all of us. 2024 was just a clinker of a year.
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
Emma, I’m so very sorry for the loss of little Henry. He was clearly such a beautiful soul and I can imagine how empty your home feels without him…although if you still ‘imagine’ him at the door, he’s probably still around in spirit keeping an eye on you!
It certainly sounds like you had an eventful year, and I’m sorry that the sale of your family bungalow was so stressful, but glad that your mum is now settled in closer to you.
I’m looking forward to continuing to read your posts this year.
Big hugs
Suzy xx
I am sorry for the loss of Henry! I know how hard it is to lose a pet!
Jennifer
https://www.curatedbyjennifer.com/
What a mixed of emotions you must have gone through in all of this Emma, it was lovely to read about the family home and although seemed quite sad, it’s for the best and I’m glad you’re at peace with it. I hope your mum does well and enjoys her new home.
I do feel for you losing Henry and hope you can work through the sadness and empty house. You’ll find another beautiful kitten or cat that won’t replace him but will fill your heart much like second and third children do.
Take care and have a super rest of the weekend. Jacqui. X
Oh Emma, you really did have a challenging year. I am so sorry to hear about your cat. It is always sad to lose a fur baby especially when they have been with us through really hard times. Your family home is so beautiful. I can understand why it is hard to sell it. But it is better to focus our attentions forward instead of backwards, isn’t it? Sending you lots of positive energy for a blessed new year!
Shelbee
So sorry for your loss, losing a pet who has been with you through it all. I’m glad you were able to sell the house. Wishing you a stress free year, filled with good health, joy and soft landing.
Bernie,
Benita James
Awe I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Henry :((…we are huge cat lovers in my family…my last kitty was a tuxedo like your Henry and she passed in 2008 at 16 1/2 ..I had her since 8 wks old. Now my gray tabby kitty is almost 17 and I fear she wont be around too much longer, her kidneys are starting to act up… It so hard to love fur babies ..
My condolences to you and I hope someday you get another furry kitty to lighten your heart!
‘
xo
Valerie
http://www.mapleleopard.com