STYLE HAS NO AGE LIMIT

Why I’m Happy Being Perfectly Imperfect + Sunday Reflections Link Up

January 28, 2018

Why I'm Happy Being Perfectly Imperfect

I do like a challenge, especially when it’s inspired by another blogger. So, when I read Suzy Turner’s brilliant post about being perfectly imperfect, which invited her readers to write about the subject, I was up for it. We all have our hang ups and insecurities, many of them deep-rooted. As part of the amazing 40+ blogging community, I see the topic of body confidence come up frequently. The consensus seems to be that as we get older we loosen the shackles of those hang ups and become more content with our bodies.

I was terribly shy as a child, and in turn became a very self-conscious teenager. Wearing extremely untrendy glasses and having a bad perm certainly didn’t help! I didn’t feel good about my body until my early 20s when I started working out and doing martial arts. For the first time in my life I had defined muscles and even a six pack, but I still didn’t feel truly confident. I worried about what people thought of me: my clothes, my face, even my voice. I could have had the perfect body (I didn’t) but still would have lacked confidence. That came gradually over the years (confidence, not the perfect body!).

I have plenty of features that I wouldn’t have chosen if I’d had the option, but don’t we all?

I think I know what suits me now in terms of style, although I’m always happy to experiment. If I try something on that doesn’t suit me I don’t blame myself for making the clothes look bad (like I used to). I simply accept that it’s not for me and I’ll find an alternative that makes me feel great. I have plenty of features that I wouldn’t have chosen if I’d had the option, but don’t we all? On a superficial level, I’d have preferred longer legs, a smaller nose and straight toes. Oh, and a smaller ribcage because it’d make getting dresses to fit so much easier. But there are other, more important things that I’d like to change.

In my mid 20s I had a bout of vertigo, which felt like I was trapped inside a washing machine on spin cycle. At the same time I experienced the onset of tinnitus. I fully expected this to be temporary, but it wasn’t. Almost two decades later the constant hissing sound is still there, and always will be. When it started my GP sent me for tests where I found out that my hearing had been damaged, and within a couple of years I went completely deaf in my right ear. For someone who loves music as much as I do it was a bitter blow. My consultant told me my brain would adjust to the tinnitus, and slowly but surely it did. I hardly ever notice it now.

Social situations are hard too; I can’t hold a conversation in a noisy room.

Dealing with the deafness is a bit harder; I find it very difficult to tell where sounds are coming from. Social situations are hard too; I can’t hold a conversation in a noisy room. People who don’t know me try to talk in my deaf ear. And of course, sometimes I just don’t hear people and they think I’m ignoring them. I’ve deliberately avoided parties and big gatherings because I have to concentrate really hard and often lip read. But when I do push myself out of my comfort zone (like the 3040 Blogger meet) it’s enourmously satisfying.

You might not think there’s an upside to being deaf in one ear, but there is. If I need to sleep in a noisy environment I can simply lie on my good ear. A couple of weeks ago we had a terrible storm overnight and I had to get up really early. The wind whipping the tree against the window woke me up but I was able to turn over and get back to sleep easily. My husband has to wear earplugs but I have my own inbuilt one! Obviously the disadvantages of hearing loss far outweigh the advantages, but you’ve got to look for the positives, right?

Now I’m in my 40s I’ve realised that self-loathing is utterly futile. It occupies precious time and space in our lives that could be better spent.

After years of fixating on the physical aspects of myself that I didn’t like, I can now accept them because we are all perfectly imperfect. Now I’m in my 40s I’ve realised that self-loathing is utterly futile. It occupies precious time and space in our lives that could be better spent. You can care too much what other people think, to the point of self-limitation. I run because I like the challenge and the feeling of accomplishment, even though I’ll never be a fast runner. I’ve been heckled, told to run faster (only by men oddly enough), but that’s not going to stop me getting out for a run. Concentrating on how I feel rather than how I look when I’m running is a lesson for every aspect of life. Enjoy the scenery and breathe it all in. I’m happy being perfectly imperfect, and you should be too.

How about you? Are you happy being perfectly imperfect?

My good friend Jo recently wrote this wonderfully inspiring post about why you should be happy in your skin. I’ve known Jo since university and she’s certainly had her battles with body image. After losing around half her body weight she’s now a personal trainer and all-round badass wonder woman. If you don’t mind colourful language you should pop over for a read. 

 


 

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14 responses to “Why I’m Happy Being Perfectly Imperfect + Sunday Reflections Link Up”

  1. I have to agree whole heartedly with this post, Emma!! We might as well embrace our bodies as is, because it’s the only one we are going to get!!
    And how great you can look at the advantages of your hearing loss in that ear—we should all take that as a lesson….
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

  2. Being a perfectionist, I have a hard time accepting my flaws, but as you say we all have them and I shouldn’t give them so much importance. Happy Sunday!

  3. I love this post, Emma! And I love that you were inspired by Suzy’s post as I linked to it in my post today as well! I love this community of bloggers and how we inspire and empower one another! All beautiful souls embracing our imperfections and appreciating one another even as we expose ourselves so fearlessly! I guess I am going to need to write my perfectly imperfect post soon as well! Have a fabulous weekend, my friend.

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

  4. Nancy Baten says:

    What a lovely story! So many people are insecure, I think that self confidance is the best thing that a parents can give to their children.

  5. jacqui says:

    A lovely read Emma, I too have tinnitus & have had for a few years. I hardly notice it now, but have noticed a lack of hearing, I too dislike talking in a noisy venue, sometimes I just can’t hear and am always saying “Pardon”!!!
    Thanks for sharing, I think you look super all the time Hun. x Jacqui
    http://www.mummabstylish.com

  6. I think its better to be imperfect than a perfectionist.
    Wonderful post Emma! <3
    XO Tina

  7. Laurie says:

    I haven’t read Suzy’s post yet Emma. I would like to take part in this! It could turn out to be a long post though! xx

  8. Suzy Turner says:

    Emma, I’m delighted to see you took me up on my challenge! And what a brilliant post it is. I’m sorry you’ve suffered with your your hearing – I would imagine that can be really tough sometimes but you seem to take it on your stride which is just wonderful!
    I can’t imagine you as a shy child with a bad perm lol but we’ve all been there! I’m glad you found your confidence though, otherwise you might not have started this blog and I love it!
    Hugs
    Suzy xx
    http://www.suzyturner.com

  9. I have been teased and bullied and faced all sorts of things that could mess with my self esteem but I look at it this way. I’ve had just enough dysfunction in my life to make me interesting! And so it goes! Great, great post!
    Cheryl
    https://www.northwestmountainliving.com

  10. Julie says:

    What a great post Emma! Freedom truly comes by not caring so much what others think of us and by being kind to ourselves.

  11. Ruth says:

    It took me awhile to understand how to love myself and what that actually looked like. I have plenty of “issues” with myself, but am coming to the point where I love all of me! I’ve also realized that health issues can come and go and stick around and have learned how to deal with them as well,

    http://www.mylittlenest.org

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